Trigger Warning: This article includes discussions of sexual assault. If you or anybody you know has experienced sexual assault, reach out to a trusted adult. The national sexual assault hotline number is 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
“HES A FREAK BAD.”
“He’s extremely lucky he’s not sitting in jail right now.”
“Swear he got demons.”
The comments light up your screen. Vulgar, intimate comments about men and boys of all ages. All from a new app that has gained popularity across several generations: Tea. According to their website, the women-only app is intended to protect women from dating violence by allowing women to rate men, making comments and identifying behaviors as either green or red flags. Their stated goal is “to give women the tools they need to date safely in a world that often overlooks their protection.” The app is 18+, but that hasn’t stopped the many posts of underage students, including those from Davie High.
The premise of the app itself isn’t necessarily problematic. Dating violence has increased tremendously over the years, especially among teenagers. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 10 teenagers experiences sexual dating violence. On top of that, 1 in 12 experience physical dating violence.
But the gap between what Tea claims to do and how teenagers actually use it is enormous. The number of people posted on the app who have had intimate details exposed raises concerns about just how ethical it is to post about a seventeen-year-old’s sex life. It begs the question, where can we draw the line between “girl talk” and irreversible exposure?
Despite its male-centered premise, an interview with a female senior who wishes to remain anonymous reveals that the app doesn’t just affect men. This person found the app through Snapchat, seeing her friends post about it. The senior had been mentioned briefly by first and last name in a comment on a Tea post. “Apparently, I had sex with someone, which is not true. I would never sleep with this person,” she said. While being accused of having sex with someone publicly can be embarrassing, she still finds the app to be beneficial.
“Besides all the drama and stuff, I think it’s actually really helpful,” she said. “You know, if you’re gonna go out with a guy and you look up on there and you see, ‘Oh, well, he’s like a rapist’ or something insane, then you learn that from the comments and then you don’t need to go out with them.” She admits that the app has helped her when it comes to dating, allowing her to “low-key get some helpful advice on guys.”
But what happens when that advice is either exaggerated or a complete fabrication? A few weeks before he turned eighteen, senior Emiliano Soria (who has allowed his name to be used in this article) was posted on the Tea app. The poster referred to him as a “cheater” and a “whore.” Because he knows that the information about him is inaccurate, Soria admits that the labels don’t really bother him and that he doesn’t put a lot of value in what is said on the app.
“It just shows how petty they are and how low they go just to affect me.” He believes that the post may have been made by someone with whom he was in a relationship in the past; however, he states he does not want to feed into the drama any more than he already has.
While Soria may not feel deeply injured by the post and thinks of it as a silly and petty way of trying to get back at someone, allegations made about other people have reached defamatory levels. Students have reported seeing posts accusing boys of not just cheating but serious crimes, including but not limited to sexual assault.
The allegations listed previously are horrible, and if they did truly occur, the perpetrators are entirely deserving of the consequences that come with those indecent acts. However, the Tea app is not where alleged concerns are to be presented. The app itself has a mechanic that allows the user to view local sex offender mugshots and their locations. If the app were used for its intended purpose, only people who have been convicted would be posted on the app. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case, and frequently, the lives of these people are threatened by such accusations.
With dating violence increasing by the year, there needs to be precautionary measures for people to take when it comes to talking to people online. However, these measures should be 100% limited to people over the age of 18. All dating apps in the United States have restrictions where only people 18 and older can use them, with many also encouraging security measures like using ID to verify birthdate and identity. Why should the Tea app be any different? The app itself makes the user take a photo of themselves to check if the user is a girl and has them confirm that they are over the age of 18. But this is a tale as old as time; it takes nothing to lie about one’s age on the internet, and with no mechanism to verify the claim, there are thousands of underage people who can create posts on the app.
These factors do not prove that victims of dating violence should not be listened to if they aren’t adults, but it does go to show that there are lives and reputations at risk when serious allegations like the previous ones are posted anonymously about children. Federal law protects the privacy of juveniles, including during ongoing investigations and the release of mugshots. While Tea itself may not be legally responsible for every post by its users, when a platform allows posts about sexual assault allegations against 17-year-olds, how can that not cause harm to minors?
Despite all these concerns, though, it is understandable why Tea is so popular. Many girls can’t help but find it funny to scroll through. Seeing guys that may have been mean to you get posted with diabolical comments underneath can be incredibly cathartic. However, what is often forgotten is that the critiques made on male anatomy and the spreading of rumors affect real people. You genuinely don’t know if the comments on there are true or not, or what the situation was like if you weren’t there.
Yet, this creates a difficult balance. How do we protect women who share their stories while also recognizing the harm of misinformation? None of the previous is meant to discredit the women who tell their stories, as it is completely and utterly necessary to talk about dating violence in order to prevent it. The issue is when these conversations are about minors, with no real confirmation to back up the claims. True abusers do not deserve to be protected by privacy, but when the allegations are still ongoing and no evidence is provided, it’s impossible to come to a reasonable conclusion. Tea, in all honesty, needs to put in more protective measures to prevent minors from being posted and gossiped about on the app, as it is actively contributing to bullying and harassment of potentially innocent people.
