In his “Seven Ages” speech in his play “As You Like It,” Shakespeare famously wrote, “All the world’s a stage.” That quote has never rung truer than it does today. Celebrities receive constant media coverage, each minuscule action being fervently dissected for some trace of meaning. The nearly obsessive fan bases conglomerated around all types of celebrities are indicative of a clear disconnect between idealism and reality. But is that disconnect inherently negative—and why does it have such an emotional grip on some people?
What Are Parasocial Relationships and Why Do They Happen?
Cynthia Vinney, PhD, defines a parasocial relationship as “a one-sided relationship that a media user engages in with a media persona.” These relationships can result in intimate, one-sided bonds that the media persona is entirely unaware of. Parasocial relationships are most common with media celebrities, such as athletes, musicians, and actors.
“Parasocial relationships stem from our natural tendency for social connection,” writes Carl Wagstaff, Davie High’s AP Psychology teacher. “Humans are wired for interpersonal relationships, and when a public figure presents themselves as relatable or engaging, fans can form an attachment.”
An article featured in “Psychology Today” states that the “human brain is developed to be social,” and when we are exposed to other people—even if it’s on a screen—we “develop warm feelings for them.” In the modern world, according to Wagstaff, we are exposed to more and more one-sided relationships.
“Parasocial relationships have become more common due to the accessibility of celebrities through social media,” he says.
Nearly every teenager has access to Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, three social media networks that feature content creators who rarely have the potential to interact with their fans one-on-one. When one consumes the same content repeatedly, they gradually build a one-sided relationship with the content creator. This is furthered by the natural psychological processes of the human brain.
“Cognitive biases, such as the mere exposure effect (the more we see someone, the more we like them), play a role, as well as the human brain’s difficulty distinguishing between real and mediated social interactions,” Wagstaff says.
A testimony by author Otegha Uwagba sheds some light on the perspective of the content creator. In an article titled “Too close for comfort: the pitfalls of parasocial relationships,” Uwagba explained how unnerving it was to witness a fan caught in an extreme parasocial relationship with her. The fan started by sending her messages of admiration, but this habit grew into an obsession with the author.
“She wanted things from me: to work for me, to meet up with me, to know how my weekend had gone, to tell me how hers had gone, to tell me about the job she disliked, for me to help her with a project she was launching,” Uwagba said. “My heart began to sink whenever I saw her name on my phone.”
Her testimony revealed that while parasocial relationships may have the potential to perpetuate social connection, they are not always welcome. Wagstaff says that excessive investment in parasocial relationships “can lead to negative consequences, such as emotional dependence, unrealistic expectations, or even delusional thinking if individuals believe the celebrity reciprocates their feelings.”
But not everyone involved in a parasocial relationship is obsessed with the media persona. Ola Leszczuk, a freshman at Davie High, says that she gets very upset when watching certain shows or movies when a character suffers—especially if she’s watched the show for a long time. “Especially in romantic scenes, if one of the people dies or is fighting an illness,” Leszczuk says. Leszczuk’s situation offers an interesting question on the nature of parasocial relationships: Can they be built with fictional characters?
A study titled “Adult attachment and engagement with fictional characters” published in the National Library of Medicine attests that parasocial relationships can be built with fictional characters. “This is likely because the social and interpersonal content of stories provide a useful way to satisfy intimacy needs, providing a form of closeness safe from the threat of rejection that accompanies intimate relationships,” the study claims. The parasocial safety from rejection goes beyond the field of fictional characters: it is unlikely for a famous singer, for instance, to ever turn their fans down.
Are All Parasocial Relationships Bad?
Not all parasocial relationships are bad. Annabelle Dyson, a freshman at Davie High, writes about her parasocial relationship with Billie Eilish.
“Due to Billie Eilish being an open person with social media, I often see her as a close friend despite never meeting her,” Dyson says.
This is by no means a harmful relationship, despite its parasociality. Wagstaff claims that parasocial relationships have no set emotional impact and that it depends on the person’s involvement in the relationship.
“[Parasocial relationships] are generally neutral—it depends on the context and degree of attachment. Positive aspects include entertainment, motivation, and even comfort, especially when fans see a celebrity as a role model.”
The ever-growing media cornerstone of fandom has the opportunity to connect individuals through their shared interests, which are often parasocial relationships. In an article for PARCINQ (a publication dedicated to Asian pop culture), Editor-in-Chief Hans Ethan Carbonilla argues that fandom-based friendships are “built differently.” He claims that while “the question of authenticity in online relationships remains an inquiry,” the connections and friendships built through fandom culture and online communities are “undeniably real.”
Wagstaff sums up the duality of parasocial relationships: “They can be fulfilling when they provide a sense of community, inspiration, or comfort without replacing real-world interactions. For example, a fan might feel motivated by an athlete or musician and use that inspiration positively. However, they become unfulfilling when they lead to social isolation, unrealistic expectations, or emotional distress if the fan feels ignored or rejected.”
When an individual in a parasocial relationship imposes responsible boundaries on themselves, the relationship can have a very positive impact on their lives. However, these relationships must be handled with care to ensure no negative consequences come to fruition.
