It’s sophomore year and the bell had just rung. I rose from my seat to leave English class, but I hesitated. Instead, I turned to my teacher to ask one particular question that had been lingering in my mind for a few weeks now: “What’s the Weekly Talon?” I watched as his eyes lit up. He’s all too happy to inform me and answer my question, and within mere minutes, I knew I wanted to be a part of this—I want to be a writer. 

With their extensive encouragement, along with the support of my friends and family, I approached my then partner with my latest news and a beaming smile radiating on my face—it didn’t endure, nor did it take long for my face to fade to a pale white as I was faced with the statement that followed. 

“If you join The Weekly Talon, we might as well just break up because you won’t have any time to spend with me.” 

With the question of which choice to make before my tear-stained eyes, I questioned what this truly meant—isn’t my partner supposed to encourage and support me? To support my dreams? My passions and aching desire to write and spread my poetry, prose, and handwritten literature across book pages? To one day watch in awe and adoration as my work gets published to reach national heights? This is the point where I let them stand in my way, and I grabbed a hold of these dreams and dragged them down to my core, along with my very identity and sense of being along the way.

These dreams remained in the cracks and corners of my soul for over two and a half years. Eventually, I would walk away from this relationship and finally join the staff I had always wanted to be a part of. But what did I lose in the process? I remained consumed by this irrevocable ache, and I fully abided by these depths and despairs of attempting to determine why or how one person, like myself, could give so much power to another person. 

It’s not uncommon to think that prioritizing your partner’s dreams over your own is a testament to your dedication and admiration, but it comes at the cost of your life’s passions. This, too, is the cost I faced as I let my dream to be a writer in The Weekly Talon be sacrificed at the cruel hands of euphoria in a new relationship. I allowed their goals and aspirations to eclipse my own. In the journey of love and relationships, we often adapt, adjust, and sometimes even change. 

However, there are some things that should never be sacrificed, even at the expense of someone else—this isn’t about being selfish or unyielding; it’s about maintaining one’s mental well-being and individuality. Studies demonstrate that individuals involved in emotionally abusive relationships experience an increase in symptoms of anxiety and depression, with over “half of Americans having experienced lifetime emotional abuse by a partner.” It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But I, too, am surprised at how many times I questioned my worth and happiness solely in the name of love. If you’ve ever been head over heels in love, it can feel like you would do anything for that special someone. But is there such a thing as giving up too much?

It’s impossible to provide a precise number as to how many people push their dreams aside for a relationship, but the crushing of dreams can come in many different forms, whether that be from a coach, a parent, a friend, a partner, or even yourself. When someone tells you what you can’t do or be, consider the source. What’s behind their debilitating response? Is it coming from fear, concern, jealousy, or something else entirely? Is it about you, or is it about them? Many have heard the saying that “love is blind,” but that doesn’t mean you should turn a blind eye to the way that someone treats you and your passions. 

As someone who has been down this road (and learned the hard way), I’ll simply share my own insight to provide some clarity—these are the things that you should never allow to be up for grabs, no matter how much you love someone. At the end of the day, you’re not just someone’s partner—you’re you. And that’s something worth cherishing. Hold on tight to your dreams. Let them be your beacon. Because in the end, a “love” that requires you to sacrifice who you are and what curates you, isn’t really love at all. 

Remember, love is vital—but so are you.